After speaking with Tony I realized the two of us were not actually that different. My classmates thought I was ignorant for not thinking that gay men loved sports and other activities that bond my friends and me. And to be perfectly honest, it is not that I never expected gay guys to like sports, I never really gave it much thought.
To my knowledge I have no gay friends and my world would be completely heterosexual except for occasional glimpses of “Will and Grace” and trips to
Tony is openly gay, but he does not have that stereotypical flamboyant flair mistakenly associated with gay men. I am not sure if his style stems from that fact he was not always gay. He has an ex-wife and a son living in
“I always knew that I liked boys with a dept that I never felt towards a woman, not even my ex-wife,” Tony said.
I sat back in my chair and reflected on his statement.
“How did you know you were gay,” I asked.
“The same way that you found out you were straight,” he replied.
We argued back and forth whether a person “is gay” or “becomes gay.” Tony believes that to say someone “becomes gay” is to signify some sort of choice. I believe that everything in life is a choice. We never arrived at a conclusion and had to end the conversation, but not because a gay and straight man couldn’t see eye to eye, but because two strong-willed men in their twenties decided to agree to disagree.
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